Gratitude is Not Denial
Every day, but especially every Thanksgiving, we’re supposed to “count our blessings.”
But, these days, if you’re a doctor — or a clinician of any type — this can sound a little tone-deaf.
The past few decades have tested the profession in ways we never expected. Persistent workforce shortages. Exploding administrative burdens. Lost leadership voice. A healthcare system even more fragmented than it ever was, and yet, somehow, more monopolistic than it ever was.
Still, with each passing year, I have come to believe that gratitude isn’t tone-deaf. It’s a lifeline.
The Paradox of Modern Medicine
When I began my career, medicine still felt like a noble profession to those in it and those outside, looking in. We stayed late because a patient needed us at the last minute. Almost every doctor took call and came to the hospital at odd hours to care for a patient.
Now, in the name of efficiency, some doctors take calls — the hospitalists — and the rest don’t. Now, the language of medicine often sounds like the language of business.
Pay-for-performance.
Productivity metrics.
Value-based care.
We have lost a lot in the name of efficiency. We are told to “do more with less,” as if the human spirit were infinitely elastic. But here’s the paradox: the same profession that drains us can also fill us.
Yes, it’s tempting to focus only on what’s broken. And there’s plenty to fix.
Yet, every day, we are invited into moments that most people never witness—moments of vulnerability, courage, love, and loss. We get to stand beside people when their entire world changes.
Sometimes we get to help them heal.
Sometimes we just get to help them cope.
And sometimes, we are lucky enough to help them hope again.
That privilege alone is worth pausing for.
Gratitude Is Not Denial
Let me be clear. Gratitude doesn’t mean pretending things are fine. It’s not denial pretending to be optimism. It’s seeing the whole picture — the pain and the possibility — and choosing to focus on what sustains you.
Psychologist Robert Emmons, one of the leading researchers on gratitude, says, “Gratitude is an approach to life that can be freely chosen for oneself. It does not depend upon objective life circumstances such as health, wealth, or beauty”.
For those of us in healthcare, that stance can be revolutionary.
Because the truth is, our circumstances may not get easier soon.
But we can still choose how we see them.
We can still choose to remember what drew us here in the first place.
What We Have to Be Grateful For
The privilege of purpose
Most people spend their lives searching for meaning in their work. We don’t have to.
Our purpose walks into our offices every day, wearing a gown that opens in the back.
Every patient reminds us that our work matters, not in the abstract, but in the pulse, the breath, the lab result, the tears, and the smiles. We get to matter for a living. That’s no small thing.
The trust of patients
In an age when trust is scarce, patients still trust us with their bodies, their secrets, their fears. They let us into the most guarded parts of their lives. That trust — earned over decades of collective integrity — is something to honor and protect. The pandemic may have weakened confidence in the profession as a whole, but most people still trust their doctors, their clinicians.
The camaraderie of teams
No one survives in medicine alone. From nurses and therapists to medical assistants, social workers, and techs — our colleagues are the unsung heroes of modern healthcare. They make impossible days possible. They remind us that even when systems fail, people rise. And we get to work with them every day towards a shared purpose — the patient’s well-being.
The gift of learning
Medicine keeps us humble. It forces us to keep growing, to admit what we don’t know, to be lifelong students of both science and humanity. Few professions demand and reward curiosity like ours.
The stories that shape us
Every physician carries a quiet library of stories: the first patient who trusted you, the one you couldn’t save, the child who drew you a picture that still hangs in your office. These stories make us who we are. They remind us why we chose this calling, and why we stay.
What I’m Personally Grateful For
This Thanksgiving, my own list begins with something simple:
I’m grateful to work in a profession that I dreamed of working in when I was growing up. And I am thankful that it continues to challenge me.
I’m grateful for my children, one of whom has grown into a remarkable young adult, and the other is on her way to doing so. Each is charting their own path with courage and compassion. Watching them become who they are has been the most outstanding education of my life.
I’m grateful for my dog, who has taught me the true meaning of optimism. Though we never give him table scraps, he is at the table hoping for some every time we dine. He has also taught me the importance of showing yourself when engaging with others.
I’m grateful for Uzma, my late wife. She was my partner in laughter, argument, and love who taught me that grace and grit can coexist in one soul. What I learned from being next to her continues to shape how I live each day.
I’m grateful for the good fortune of being born into my family. They were the first ones to teach me to love, to care, and to value the right things.
I’m grateful for those who let me call them my friends, who reinforce what I learned from my family, and who are always there for me when the chips are down.
I’m grateful for my mentors, colleagues, and leaders who continue to show up with all their imperfections and strive every day to make healthcare more humane. Being around them motivates me to learn and improve every day.
Finally, I’m grateful to you, my readers, for pausing to reflect and letting me know what you’ve thought of some of my posts here. Every message I receive from a reader who says, “This made me think,” fills me with gratitude for the privilege of your attention.
Gratitude as Leadership Practice
Gratitude isn’t just personal—it’s strategic.
Research in organizational psychology shows that leaders who express gratitude regularly see measurable improvements in morale, retention, and team performance. It creates a climate of trust and psychological safety.
But in healthcare leadership, gratitude can do something even more profound: It re-humanizes the workplace.
When we thank a nurse for catching an error, a colleague for covering a shift, or a patient for their patience, we reinforce a simple truth: we’re all on the same team. And that feeling of belonging is the antidote to burnout.
Gratitude turns transactions into relationships, and relationships into resilience.
A Practice, Not a Platitude
So how do we cultivate gratitude when the system feels stacked against us?
Start small. At the end of each day, before you shut your laptop or hang up your stethoscope, ask: “What went right today?”
Write down one thing. A patient’s smile. A nurse’s kindness. A family’s trust.
Do it for a week, and watch how your focus shifts.
Do it for a month, and watch how your energy returns.
Gratitude, like a muscle, strengthens with use.
And in medicine, that muscle is what might keep us going.
As Thanksgiving weekend winds down, let’s hold two truths at once: Healthcare is hard. And yet, it is still filled with grace.
Let’s acknowledge the brokenness without losing sight of the beauty.
Let’s accept our fatigue and still feel our purpose.
Because despite all that’s been taken from us — time, autonomy, simplicity — what remains is profound:
The privilege of purpose
The trust of patients.
The camaraderie of colleagues.
The gift of learning.
The stories that shape us.
That, my friends, is reason enough to be grateful.
Happy Thanksgiving!
p.s. I publish a post here every Sunday. However, this post seemed most apt for today. After a break this Sunday, I will return with a new post on Sunday, December 7th.
